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A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I took our oldest daughter, Emily, out to dinner.
Photo by scribbletaylor – Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial License https://www.flickr.com/photos/64958688@N00
She turned 18 this year, and we wanted to encourage her in the opportunities and challenges she will be facing as a graduating senior and soon-to-be college student.
Previously, I had been reading Tim Elmore’s Generation iY where he shares about three intelligences that help us in conversations with our students and children as they mature:
Emotional intelligence: We need to help them develop their EQ—self awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
Moral intelligence: We need to coach them toward robust character—personal discipline, secure sense of self, strong positive values. (Perhaps we could call this MQ.)
Leadership intelligence: Finally, we need to encourage clear vision, courage, priorities, big-picture perspective, and planning skills (LQ) (Elmore 209).
During dinner, I asked Emily if I could read through the descriptions and if she could reflect on areas she felt were her strengths and where she thought she still needed to grow. As she self-reflected on different areas, I learned some new insights about her. And I think she may have learned some new insights about herself too.
My Own Self-Assessment
Self-reflection isn’t only good for our children as they grow. It’s good for older learners like you and me. I remember about five years ago when I was talking to a buddy who is twenty years younger than I. He was telling me about the goals he and his wife had set and reached. He was excited about being a young father, starting his own business, and pursuing his dreams. I began to reminisce with him about when I was his age—how my wife and I had paid off debts, bought our first house, started a family.
As he listened, he looked at me with a curious expression and asked, “So that was twenty years ago. What are your goals now?” Suddenly, I was stumped. I realized I didn’t have an answer, and as I stumbled around to find one, I finally looked at him and said, “You know. I think right now I’m just trying to survive.”
When I walked away from that conversation, I was haunted by my response. When was the last time I had self-reflected on new goals for my family and my future? In some ways, I had achieved a lot of my dreams in my career. But where did I want to grow from here? Continue reading